I walk down the street and I hear the sub woofers blasting in cars. I hear the din of engines and wheels zipping past me in a self-important manner. If I have a destination, when I get to it I am exposed to the rummaging sounds of unorganized individuals. I am perpetually distracted by the conversations I cannot help but listen to (against my will for that matter!) that people are having with some person who isn’t even there because they have a cell phone glued to their face. Everywhere around me are the sounds of walking, slamming, shuffling, talking, et cetera. When I return home I am still not safe from the noise. I can still hear the vehicles and the people.

I am also tormented by the terrible “music” made by, and mainly consumed by, people who don’t even know what music is supposed to sound like. (Some black guy complaining about an STD he got from some whore isn’t music and neither is repeatedly stating that one is on a life-long mission to get wasted. Such things should be laid to waste as they are meant to be!) It reminds me of something I read in a book once (“The Screwtape Letters” if I recall correctly) about how everything in heaven is either music or silence and the demons are trying to spread more noise on earth so we can have neither music nor silence. Ladies, gentlemen, and people who are neither, I present to you: YOUR NOISY HELL ON EARTH!

So where has all this gotten me? To make a short list: distracted, annoyed, tired, unable to work as efficiently as I would otherwise, and wondering if there’s still a forest somewhere where I can go hiking without running into some idiot with their digital music player and fifty ugly and ill-behaved kids who wants to get in my way and have a conversation with me even though I don’t know them and really want them all to leave me alone (I go into nature to get OUT OF the city – thank you very much!).

I am obviously implying that all this noise is not good for anyone. It would be for the best if we start shutting down unnecessary electronics when we don’t REALLY need them. It would be better still if we stopped using vehicles (except in emergencies, of course) and walked to our destinations. It’s healthy and it uses less electricity and fossil fuel to do these things. Best of all: IT’S FREE. Yes, people of the jury, as you can see, this way of life is eco-friendly and results in a longer life span and better health and you can have it all FOR NOTHING.

What do you want for nothing? Apparently not this because I still see cell phones and similar electronic devices everywhere. What’s wrong with you? We’ve been surviving fine without these things for the majority of our existence and here you are getting dependent on them as if it’s necessary for you to live. Maybe you should talk to a therapist instead of a piece of plastic for a change. You’d have the money to do that if you didn’t waste it all on unnecessary junk. I don’t know why I even bother saying these things – I’m not your mother. (Now go clean your room…)